As long as I'm grieving the losses of my life, I miss sleeping.  Ageing seems to be robbing me of sleep.  I know - first lips and now sleep.  I distinctly remember the times when I could lay down and sleep for hours.  I remember once in college, after a final, lying down for a nap.  I slept hard.  I heard something and lifted my eyelids.  There was a friend sitting in the chair at the end of my bed reading a book.  She waved.  I'm sure she thought I would rouse myself out of my sleep.  I didn't.  It seemed like I couldn't.  I went back to sleep.  It took me three tries to get myself awake. 

It is unclear to me when the scene changed.  I remember being without sleep when there were babies in the house.  Mothers seem to develop an ear.  An ear that hears and listens to all the creaks, groans and sneezes in the house at night.  But even then I could go back to sleep and stay asleep.  Given a chance I would and could sleep late on Saturday mornings.   Those days seem to be gone.

There are no babies now to disturb my sleep.  Wait, in one way there may be an old baby in my house.  We have an old dog.  He likes to sleep on the bed, but he can no longer jump up on it by himself.  Therefore, one of us has to help him.  Last night he woke me up  OR he realized I was awake.  It was 2:30 AM.  He was panting at my side of the bed.  It may have been his horrible breath that woke me up.  I wondered: "Does he need to go out?  No, he wants on the bed".    Eventually, I got up and put the old dog on the bed.

Even when the dog doesn't wake me, I have trouble staying asleep.  I'm sure it is aging that is robbing me of sleep. 

"O sleep! O gentle sleep!
Nature’s soft nurse, how have I frighted thee,
That thou no more wilt weigh my eyelids down
And steep my senses in forgetfulness? "
William Shakespear in  Henry IV (3.1.7) 

Peace -

Ann B.