The Church can't fight back.

This entry is different than others.  It is a newsletter article I wrote recently.  It is religious in nature.

In recent months, weeks, even years, I have been involved in several discussions about the future of the Church. Some of these discussions have been focused on the faults of specific churches. Other discussions have been about the universal church. Discussion always swirls around what the church has done wrong, what the church should have done, why people are mad at the church – and other things. I'm sure you have heard similar things and been involved in similar conversations.

During one of these discussions, I heard a wise ruling elder say. “It is easy to get mad at the church. The church can't fight back.” I've been thinking about this a lot. Initially I saw the truth of this statement as it applied to local congregations I had served and knew. I reflected on people who had left the church. They left because something did not go as they wanted it to in the church. I remember when I was a little girl there was a man in our church, he was always at church on Sunday, but around town it was known -- he was not an honest businessman. People said – I don't want to go to church with hypocrites and the church is full of hypocrites. That is so true – the church is full of hypocrites. “since all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23) We all have problems. We all have secrets. We all are human. But to be mad at the Church is absurd. The Church can't fight back.

There are people who leave the worshiping congregation because something was done they didn't like. What would happen if we left our families and our jobs because we didn't get our way? We would all be wandering around on the streets. Things happen all the time that are not 'what we like'. The call to discipleship is not to be waited on. Jesus says “Whoever wants to be first must be last” (Mark 9:35) When we are disciples of Jesus we are to put our desires and our pride aside and be servants. Still they leave and withhold their support. The Church can't fight back.

I now can see the wisdom of this statement universally. Whatever priests of the Roman Catholic church did and however badly the bishops handled it, the Church can't fight back. Whatever the United Presbyterian Church (doesn't exist any more) did in 1969 is over. The Church can't fight back.

These attitudes drive away possible disciples. I hear people say all the time that the church seems to be a mean place and not a loving place. People avoid us because we seem to be mean to each other and to our leadership. I had a colleague in Kansas City who received death threats because of her ministry. She couldn't fight back either. The pastor can't fight back.

If we are to see the Christian Church in general and the Presbyterian Church in particular survive, we need to get over this attitude. We must understand ourselves as servants – not as people to be waited on. The fellowship and discipleship of Jesus Christ is not about us and what we want. It is about what Jesus calls us to do at this time and place.

“Wherever you go, God is sending you.

Wherever you are, God has put you there.
He has a purpose in your being there.
Christ who dwells in you has something He
wants to do through you where you are.
Believe this and go in His Grace and Love and Power.” Richard Halverson

Walking slowly

I thought this space was going to be about the things we can learn if we pay attention.  Then I've reflected on some of the losses in my life.  My lips or sleep - Oh the things I could write about my feet. 

I remember when I would watch old people walk slowly and think:  "Wow I never want to walk that slowly."  I almost always walk fast.  That is partly because my father was a tall man and he had a huge stride.  All of us were trotting behind him to keep up.  Then I married(and divorced) a tall man.  You had to walk fast or he would just leave you in the dust - or the Paris Metro.  So I have always walked fast.

It was a total surprise when my father quit walking fast.  I turned around one day and found he was far behind me.  Suddenly, he was walking slowly.  'When did this happen?' I wondered.  I was always in a hurry.  There was always somewhere else to go or something to get finished.  Those years of caring for my father and my children are a blur.  It seemed I was always behind and in a hurry. Someone wanted me to be in the other place --  School meetings for the kids; doctor's appointments for my father; a house to clean and a job to work.   I never took the time to listen. Now he has been gone some 12 years and I would gladly take one more slow stroll with him. 

Life has a way of teaching lessons .  Foot pain is my penalty  --  Plantar fasciae pain is my companion. There are things I do to help it and they are helpful and some are very effective, but my foot still hurts most nights. 

I walk more slowly and listen more often these days.

As long as I'm grieving the losses of my life, I miss sleeping.  Ageing seems to be robbing me of sleep.  I know - first lips and now sleep.  I distinctly remember the times when I could lay down and sleep for hours.  I remember once in college, after a final, lying down for a nap.  I slept hard.  I heard something and lifted my eyelids.  There was a friend sitting in the chair at the end of my bed reading a book.  She waved.  I'm sure she thought I would rouse myself out of my sleep.  I didn't.  It seemed like I couldn't.  I went back to sleep.  It took me three tries to get myself awake. 

It is unclear to me when the scene changed.  I remember being without sleep when there were babies in the house.  Mothers seem to develop an ear.  An ear that hears and listens to all the creaks, groans and sneezes in the house at night.  But even then I could go back to sleep and stay asleep.  Given a chance I would and could sleep late on Saturday mornings.   Those days seem to be gone.

There are no babies now to disturb my sleep.  Wait, in one way there may be an old baby in my house.  We have an old dog.  He likes to sleep on the bed, but he can no longer jump up on it by himself.  Therefore, one of us has to help him.  Last night he woke me up  OR he realized I was awake.  It was 2:30 AM.  He was panting at my side of the bed.  It may have been his horrible breath that woke me up.  I wondered: "Does he need to go out?  No, he wants on the bed".    Eventually, I got up and put the old dog on the bed.

Even when the dog doesn't wake me, I have trouble staying asleep.  I'm sure it is aging that is robbing me of sleep. 

"O sleep! O gentle sleep!
Nature’s soft nurse, how have I frighted thee,
That thou no more wilt weigh my eyelids down
And steep my senses in forgetfulness? "
William Shakespear in  Henry IV (3.1.7) 

Peace -

Ann B.